Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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