He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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