If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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