He asked to "fluff my boner.."
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
