thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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