Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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