I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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