I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
