pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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