apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am