Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...

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(216): View more from Ohio

there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay

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(201): View more from New Jersey

she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.

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(760): View more from California

She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(408): View more from California

Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time

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(859): View more from Kentucky

It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.

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(775): View more from Nevada

Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.

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(727): View more from Florida

I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.

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