Well douche your snatch and let's go!
how can u be prego again
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION