whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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