what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
There's always time for handjobs
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
