well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
