My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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