So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
