OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Never underestimate the power of titties
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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