We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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