Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
