I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
