His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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