There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
