I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
