I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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