i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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