Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
