Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
