my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
