So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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