Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
