Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
