I'm eating all of the evidence.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
