Me. At least after what I've been through.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
