i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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