Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
