I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Why did my mother make you get naked?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
