I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
