I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
