I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You may now shotgun with the bride
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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