You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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