try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
accomplished twins. life is a go
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
