just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
