so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
