I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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