My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
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Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
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"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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