I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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