Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
