I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I would ride that face into the sunset
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