Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
