I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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