And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
