Screwed.edu
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
