next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
