Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
