And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
