between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
