Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize