I'm really into asian looking animals
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
