I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
