it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
